sigh,
i guess i shall rant here cos no one will judge me in a way that i will know in here
I HATE WHAT I AM DOING
it started off from lack of interest, to dislike to unwilling to hate
and the best part is, i do not have a choice

ytd a question struck me by one of my friends saying "why are you doing this?"
well to be honest, that shld be the question that i ask myself why am i doing this
WHY AM I DOING THIS? why am i doing smth that i hate?
is there a solution right now? i dont think so, i would probably just go crazy

if i am given choices to choose from such as
1) go to the beach alone to cry, cool down and meditate
2) "drown" myself in a swimming pool in my longest breath
3) book a high class hotel to sleeeeeeeeeeep as long as i want

what am i doing? this is just so ... i dont know
want to cry but want to be strong
want to stay positive and how hard can it be
want to get away but i cant run away
this horrible feeling accumulated since the start of the year

why am i here? why am i here for? why am i doing this? why am i facing all this?

there is just a point of time in my life that i did not present my troubles to God
.........................
RANTING, is one of my hobbies now (sad to say)
... i guess i have to live with it and stay strong and conquer